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[27 Oct 2005|12:48pm] |
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i just fell down the stairs. no tumbling and rolling to my death or anything. just that my heel slipped, and i slid down about 7 or 8 of the stairs. it was mildly painful, but very humorous at that moment. i always thought that if that ever happened, i would be able to stop my self. ...WRONG!
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[27 Oct 2005|01:08am] |
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im thinking about the possibility of getting a myspace account. mitch said that all of my friends have migrated there, so i guess it could be fun. ill deal with it tomorrow maybe
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[23 Oct 2005|01:55am] |
so far everything for the AID has been successful, and we found some fuckign bad ass apartments in very nice areas for a pretty damn good price range. we have narrowed iy down to 2 places. Pace's point, and Mac Aurthor...something. last year around this time reeeeeeeaaaaally sucked. meh, it will all have to just fade away. fade away. no more.
i need a better job. being away from Hell Stinko,Smell Reeko,...bell muff..muff..(muffinfuckstupidwhorelandoftheflyingureathrasintheclapwitha2x4slammedonyourdickintheworstwaysoimjustgoing tosithereandsmilewhileithinkabouthowmuchihatesuckinguptoyouandthesnottyhellspawnyouhavegivenbirthtoassome crueljokeonhumanityfornotgivingyouyourwelfarecheckontimesoilljustspitinyourfoodanddrinkandmaybebitemytongueuntilitbleedsandspatteritonyourfaceuntilitsoaksyoureyesandstainsyouredfortherestofyourgodawefulandpainfullyironicdaysyoufuckingcuntwhoresofeasttexasmaytheonesthattrytomakemylifehellbebeatenrepeatedlywithafunnoodle forhourswilwatching5televisionswithdaytimetalshowdribbleonallchannelswhiletoothpicksholdyoureyelidsopen feedingyouuselessspewanddegenerateyourment...BLAH!!!!!(el chico)) makes me realize that more and more. hahahahahahaha that was fun and educational...hehe...the clap...
being at the art institute was a neat experience. one of the main bases that was touched durng the presentation for animation and design was that i guess taht department maybe has specialized in gomputer animation for games. pretty neat. but i dont know if thats where i want to go with this. this really excites me though, because i not going to be wasting money at some college or university on a degree and then graduate and wonder, "ok, what now." then end up working in the post office (although it is a nice job) like the guy dad works with who has a bachelors in music, but what will that get him other than a for sure teaching job. and i'd rather not teach art unless it was simply to take my high school art teachers job.
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[14 Oct 2005|04:05pm] |
I was tagged.
list 10 things that bring you a moment of joy & tag six friends to do the same.
Im tagging Sara, Josh G, Mitch, Katherine, Brent, Lyndee
1. the thought seeing a horrible blaze comming off the roof of el chico
2. Manda at any point in time
3. sparring with mitch
4. playing my ocarina
5. playing a video game from time to time
6. my family
7. breakfast for dinner
8. painting to keep my mind off of things that dont bring me joy
9. creating things when i am inspired
10. annnnnnd the dijeridoo and flute that will be coming through the mail in about 2 or 3 weeks
you dont have to do it though if you dont want
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| ...work shoud be fun tonight... |
[14 Oct 2005|01:45pm] |
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mood |
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 angry |
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music |
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a temple within |
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WHATS SO FUCKIGN HARD ABOUT,"from the 21st-23rd, cody and amanda will be out of town." CANT JARED UNDER-FUCKING-STAND!?!?! we will be in dallas. its not some leisurely vacation. WE ARE GOING BE BUSY! im looking at the art institute, amanda and peem will be looking at UNT and other colleges, THEN WE WILL BE LOOKING FOR APARTMENTS! SO WHY ROB US OF THE TIME THAT WE NEED?!?! THIS ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS TOO! i dont request weekends off just so i can cut it short by being back by sunday night. MY LIFE DOESNT REVOVLE AROUND FUCKING EL CHICO!!!! i swear that if i have to go in there and say," no, amanda and i arent going to be here between the 21st and 23rd so you can either fill the slots yourself or be 2 servers short and fucking deal with it." then i will. im about to keep it real on this one. im tired of having this shit fucked over and having my life run by el chico. the only reason i had mor ethan one day off this week and next week are because i requested it. and i dont know if anyone other than mitch, amanda, and i know what that means when you are a server. lets put it like this. i would rather work a 9-5 job (or anyother 8-10 hour job) and get 40 hours a week and have weekends off, than working 3-4 hour shifts 2 (most of the times) a day for 6 or even 7 days and only have work somwhere between 28 and 35 hours. suuuuuuuuuuuuuure, the money can be great, but the mental aguish tears you apart. i think im about to go out into the woods where i am going to scream possibly until i am hoarse. then i am going to sit and think for a very long time.
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| snap, crackle, stab |
[12 Oct 2005|12:49am] |
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mood |
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 pessimistic |
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it was a nice day off today. very much needed. i have another comming thursday. im feeling more and more dread when i go in there to work. i snapped saturday night, and i think that may have ended my closing days. at first it was amusing to notice how everytime i walked into the kitchen, i could almost feel the scream escaping my lips. often, all that would come out though were laughs that i realize were me on the verge of a mental breakdown. its not healthy to be up there for so long without any real time off. thats part of why we usually have 4 hour shifts. if i can just hold out until next friday, ill be off and taking a trip with my family to dallas (lewisville i think). i hate my job lately. just some time off, that will be good.
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[11 Oct 2005|12:42am] |
i do not agree with some of the acts of infidelity going on, and i am particularly disappointed in the people that are involved.
life goes on. i have a day off tomorrow and i am going to enjoy it. maybe walk in the slightly wooded area behind the house, enjoy the weather if it is enjoyable. then, i dunno...
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| no more |
[15 Sep 2005|10:29pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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so.....i finally got some balls and quit smoking today, and it was alot different from any of the other times i had tried. i was taking amanda (who decided to quit lastnight)to the college today, and thought of having a cigarette. i looked at them thinking faintly about how i could quit, when a thought came tome, and it was not my own thinking. it was more like a voice. i would never think like this. but it said if you throw that pack out of the window, you will never smoke again. i really struggled with that though. at first i was going to do it, then i couldnt. it went back and forth as so for a few moments. i had almost decided not to do it, then i grabbed the pack (that i had only smoked between 4 and 6 out of) and threw it out of the window. at that moment, it felt like something was being sucked out of my body. i wanted to reach out and try to grab them back. and for a moment i really hated what i had done. i felt stupid. amanda said that i looked like a was going to cry. i dont doubt that i looked like that. on the way back, i had thought about picking up the cigarettes if only to have them for comfort. the horrifying sight was of the cigarettes all across that part of the road. some of them ran over, others just sitting there. it kinda hurt to see them like that. the sad thing about all of this is that i actually felt like this. that smoking had that much of a hold over me. i didnt really think i was that dependant on the habbit. i feel pretty good about it now. although i do feel regret every once in a while. 2 more days to go until the addiction is all in my head. im going to do it this time. i am stronger than the addiction.
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| im baaaack |
[15 Aug 2005|12:38pm] |
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Holy hammer of Thor! we have the internet at the NewwwW house. thats exciting. most might not know, but i got my job back at el chico. i dont remember if i updated that or not, but yeah. also, this summer i am planning on moving to the dallas area so that i can start college at the art insitute. i can start in...i think kent said june, maybe july 9th. and if i stick to the schedule, i can gradute in a year and 9 months. then they will do their best to help get me a job in whatever feild i study within 6 months. gonna be expencive though. k, im done. imma eat some breakfast foods.
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[26 Jul 2005|08:23pm] |
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well, ive managed to get sick. i think its just an upper resperatory infection, but still, i am totally wipe out. no energy at all. hopefully i can get over it pretty soon. i dont know if ill go to work on the house tonight or not concidering thats where most of the dust is comming from. im going to lay back down.
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